I'm still managing to sail on the euphoric seas of my beta yesterday. Funny how something as simple as a number can determine one's mood. Lorem says "Can I say 'Congratulations' yet?" which had me thinking a lot last night. Will there be a magical moment in this pregnancy when I can say "yes, you can congratulate me because I'm going to have a baby"? I think the answer would have to be no. I think it will be a very gradual process of accepting that this pregnancy might work out. I foresee that the process will take about 8 more months! But I've decided to be happy just the same. I don't know if it will work out. I don't know if I'll have another miscarriage. But I do know that I got pregnant on the second try since my surgery and that's a far cry from the year it took to get pregnant after my first m/c. And right now I am pregnant. So by golly I'm going to be happy for myself and try to enjoy it.
I'm writing these words mostly so that I can re-read them in a week or two and remind myself of this feeling!
The RE's office finally called me yesterday afternoon. They didn't have my second beta results yet so I told the nurse what it was. She said that was great. We also clarified the chain of events. I will do betas until I top 1000. Then we can schedule an ultrasound which will take place around 8 weeks. If everything looks good at that ultrasound, the doc will release me to a regular OB. I'm disappointed that I won't be getting more ultrasounds and more monitoring and that I can't stay with him a little longer (past the 10 weeks of my first m/c). On the flip side, I'm hoping that by the 8 week ultrasound we'll be able to see a heartbeat (I have a retroverted uterus which makes seeing things happen a little later). At this point I'm planning to go back to the OB who did my HSG and I'm sure that she will do extra ultrasounds as I feel I need them. I will probably ask for appts every 2 weeks when I first start with her. So, I'm not looking any further than the next milestone (!) but I feel a little better having a tentative plan.
You know, just in case things work out....
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1 comment:
That sounds like a good plan. I'm glad you are trying to enjoy this a little bit even though you aren't yet ready to enjoy it fully.
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