Tuesday, May 02, 2006

What are the odds?

I've been doing some research on this septum. Turns out that there is only a 10-20% chance of having a successful pregnancy with a septum and, even then, there is a big chance of having complications such as pre-term labor and premature delivery.

I've been thinking a lot about those odds. Does it mean I'm special? Does it mean my child is extra special? I've never denied the existence of God so what was his purpose in all this? Why give me a healthy child and withhold the same from so many others who are certainly more deserving than I?

There's so much I don't understand. If I was having questions about my faith before I'm really having them now! Right now I'm just in the beginning stages of puzzling out why this diagnosis and the odds behind it disquiet me so.

To be honest, at this moment it's much easier to focus on my Dad and his situation. He is scheduled for surgery this Thursday. They've decided to bypass the biopsy and just go remove the tumor. If the preliminary biopsy in the OR comes back malignant then they'll remove the entire upper portion of his lung. If not, they'll just remove the tumor. I told my Mom that I would be on the next flight out but she said that Dad doesn't want me to come for the surgery and I can understand that. I know he doesn't want me and his granddaughter to see him in the hospital with tubes and such. So right now, assuming that everything goes as planned (!), I'll be waiting a few weeks to go down there. I am really hoping that at my specialist appointment next week we can schedule the septum repair fairly quickly and I can get that out of the way. Then I can head down to Houston for a while and do my own healing. And maybe the waiting time will go faster.

That's my plan, to whom it may concern. If anyone's listening, that's how I'd like for things to go.


Josefina said...

Well, a friend's grandmother had 1/3 of her lung removed some 20 years ago, because of a tumor also, and she's perfectly well!!!
So well, my thoughts for your father and your family.
About the septum, I yet can't figure out what's that exactly, I looked it up in a dictionary with no results, then turned to Mr. Google and found something about malformations or deviations, so I figure it has something to do with your uterus in a bad position or something?
Regarding the chances, maybe I didn't understand very well, but normal chances to pregnancy are 25% each month...or that 10-20% is considering that 25%, I mean, is i 2.5%-5% chances?
Anyway, luckily you can have it fixed, so that's good news!!
Good luck in everything!!

Josefina said...

OK, I figured it out, I just had to read a little more Google answers. "nose septum" was the clue! LOL!

Lorem ipsum said...

Thinking good thoughts for your dad.

Tendersoul said...

This is so much to deal with all at once. Please update us soon. (I know you will, just seemed right to say it.)