Really Feeling It Today

Several months ago, I started a message board post on FertilityFriend.com looking for "buddies" to wait out the 2ww with me. That month one of our group of 4 got a positive. We kept the thread alive and the next month another got a positive. Now, you know where this is going right? What makes us go looking at stuff that we know is going to depress us? Of course, the other woman of the group got a positive yesterday. Between that and the talk with my friend today, I am just really feeling it. Here it is the end of the year and I am no closer to having a baby. I conceived the one I lost this past Jan. 18. I never really thought I would pass that anniversary date without being pregnant. Now reality is setting in. I hate this whole game of trying/waiting/failing. Can I just forfeit?