Saturday, December 17, 2005

My Roadmap to God Knows Where

I did a bit of mindless surfing around BlogLand today looking for new blogs to add to my list. I have my favs - people's lives that I feel like I'm a part of by looking in on them ocassionally but who don't know I'm there. A bit voyeuristic but there you have it. I guess it all started in grade school and a fascination with Harriet The Spy.

Anyway, while surfing around all these blogs I realized an intrinsic problem with BlogLand. You can look into someone's window and see what they're doing right then and there. But it's up to you to wonder how they got there and what things have influenced the scene you see there.

There have been some blogs that I've bookmarked thinking that they had come from a similar situation and might have some insight into how I can navigate mine. Some of my favorites have turned out to do just that. Others have turned out to be real duds that I can't delete quick enough.

But back to my point: it would be nice to have a roadmap of sorts on any blog you went to so that you could see where the person has been and where they're going. So I thought I would start and see if I could create a trend (trendy person that I am ;->)

Here goes....
At the beginning of 2003 my biological clock was ringing too loudly to ignore so I stopped 7 years of birth control pills and got pregnant the second cycle out. I had not a single problem during the pregnancy and produced the Little Miss without a single drug (okay, I'm bragging but I deserve a little something for all that pain, don't I?!). Shortly after she was born I got a Mirena IUD, not knowing if/when I would want to have more. At the beginning of 2005 I decided I would like to have another one, so I had the IUD removed. 2 weeks later..... ooops. I was supposed to wait 3 months but, well, ooops. I had trouble from the start and lost the baby at 10 weeks. I waited about 3 months to start trying again - which puts us to June 2005. We've been trying diligently since then with no results. I plan to seek some sort of fertility treatments at the beginning of next year. In the meantime I have struggled with my feelings about God and religion and the purpose of all this pain and anguish. I'll let you know if I stumble upon any profoundly insightful solutions.

Edit 2/28/2006: I had my second miscarriage a few days ago. This one was a blighted ovum which was discovered when I started spotting at 7 weeks. I passed everything naturally at 8 weeks. I am currently waiting for my hormone levels to get back to 0 so that we can do an HSG and then hopefully start trying again.

Edit 05/07/2006: An HSG earlier this week revealed that I have what is likely a septum. I have an appointment next week with a fertility specialist to hopefully schedule a quick removal of it.

Edit 06/13/2006: I had surgery a few weeks ago to remove the septum and the doctor says that everything looks good. Keeping my fingers crossed!

No comments: