Tonight I allowed myself to do something for the first time in this pregnancy: look ahead on the calendar. Sure, I've thought vaguely and generally about things happening in the future. But tonight my Mom said they'd like to come visit towards the end of October and I actually looked at the calendar and counted weeks. To my surprise, the end of October will put me at 12 weeks, the magical end of the first trimester. It seems like so far away; on the other hand, it's just the end of next month. And we're already over halfway through this one.
I've found myself playing a lot of mind games today. The nausea has been at its worst today and I'm not finding anything tonight that I can actually keep down. Okay, I'm officially complaining about it today. No matter how much I want this baby, there is no way around the fact that feeling bad all the time just plain sucks.
J gets home late tonight and I'm hoping he'll be able to take G off my hands for a while tomorrow. You know: so I can just focus on being miserable all by myself!
16 hours till the ultrasound.
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