We had a great day yesterday. Left the house at 9am and didn't come home till 7:30. Not having to factor in an afternoon nap definitely gives you more freedom. In fact, yesterday, I caught myself thinking that a new baby would definitely put a crimp in things.
I have to say that the progesterone definitely increases the uterine lining! Where usually I have one day of light flow and then a day or two of spotting, this cycle I actually had to resort to disposable pads yesterday. Very unusual for me. Unfortunately I found out I'm still alergic to them. I'm going to have to clean out my stash and try out some organic cotton ones I guess, at least while I'm on the progesterone.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Patience is a virtue
CD38, 15DPO, AF no where in sight. I keep telling myself that the progesterone is just lengthening my LP and I just have to be patient. Patience was never my strong point.
The nap/no nap thing is not going so well. G woke up with a stuffy head today and by 2pm she was so ready for a rest. So I did something I've never done: I laid down with her on my bed and tried to convince her to "rest". That's apparantly a hard concept for a 2.5 year old. But at some point I realized that I had drifted off to sleep and I looked beside me and she was fast asleep. After she got up I took her downstairs and turned her favorite movie on while I took a shower. When I got out of the shower she was laying back on my bed. Guess that was a quick habit to create and probably a hard one to break! She only slept an hour but would have slept longer had I not been there to coax her awake. She resisted mightly; she's like me in that she likes her sleep. So I'm hoping a one hour nap didn't do too much damage to tonight's sleep.
I bought a new phone last week (yes, if you've been keeping track: this is my third new one since May!). But I actually like this one, finally. It's a "multi-media" phone with a slot for an extension memory card. I looked around for one to buy and decided that 2GB was not that much more expensive than 1GB so of course I went for the bigger one. I received it today but it's looking like some phones just don't support over 1GB cards. Just my luck. Anyway, the phone I have now is an LG MM535 and I'm absolutely loving it. It's a little bigger and heftier than most phones these days which is what I like. I can put it on my shoulder and talk and not feel like I'm going to break it!
I finally started a project today. About 12 years ago, back in my wild 20s, I up and quit my job and went to the Middle East for a year to work on computers at a mission hospital. That's another story for another day.... But, as you can imagine, I came home with tons of pictures and memorabilia and promptly put them all in a box. Over the years I've pulled them out and looked through them but could never convince myself to undertake the task of organizing them and putting them in albums. Sound familiar to anyone?! I've been thinking about them a lot lately and last night I had an epiphany of sorts. I've always thought about the project being huge because I would have to reconstruct an entire year and there were so many pictures there! But last night I realized that I don't have to put every single picture in an album. Instead, I decided to do a series of themes: People, Places, Experiences. I spent today sorting the huge pile into those themes and it's amazing how much more mangeable the project seems now. I weeded out over half the pile of photos already because they didn't relate to my themes. I'm actually excited now about seeing this album take shape.
Must make myself go to sleep now. Napping definitely throws off my adult clock!
The nap/no nap thing is not going so well. G woke up with a stuffy head today and by 2pm she was so ready for a rest. So I did something I've never done: I laid down with her on my bed and tried to convince her to "rest". That's apparantly a hard concept for a 2.5 year old. But at some point I realized that I had drifted off to sleep and I looked beside me and she was fast asleep. After she got up I took her downstairs and turned her favorite movie on while I took a shower. When I got out of the shower she was laying back on my bed. Guess that was a quick habit to create and probably a hard one to break! She only slept an hour but would have slept longer had I not been there to coax her awake. She resisted mightly; she's like me in that she likes her sleep. So I'm hoping a one hour nap didn't do too much damage to tonight's sleep.
I bought a new phone last week (yes, if you've been keeping track: this is my third new one since May!). But I actually like this one, finally. It's a "multi-media" phone with a slot for an extension memory card. I looked around for one to buy and decided that 2GB was not that much more expensive than 1GB so of course I went for the bigger one. I received it today but it's looking like some phones just don't support over 1GB cards. Just my luck. Anyway, the phone I have now is an LG MM535 and I'm absolutely loving it. It's a little bigger and heftier than most phones these days which is what I like. I can put it on my shoulder and talk and not feel like I'm going to break it!
I finally started a project today. About 12 years ago, back in my wild 20s, I up and quit my job and went to the Middle East for a year to work on computers at a mission hospital. That's another story for another day.... But, as you can imagine, I came home with tons of pictures and memorabilia and promptly put them all in a box. Over the years I've pulled them out and looked through them but could never convince myself to undertake the task of organizing them and putting them in albums. Sound familiar to anyone?! I've been thinking about them a lot lately and last night I had an epiphany of sorts. I've always thought about the project being huge because I would have to reconstruct an entire year and there were so many pictures there! But last night I realized that I don't have to put every single picture in an album. Instead, I decided to do a series of themes: People, Places, Experiences. I spent today sorting the huge pile into those themes and it's amazing how much more mangeable the project seems now. I weeded out over half the pile of photos already because they didn't relate to my themes. I'm actually excited now about seeing this album take shape.
Must make myself go to sleep now. Napping definitely throws off my adult clock!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Nope
No news here. Move along. Nothing to see. Tomorrow will be 13dpo which is my normal LP length. I will most likely do my progesterone in the wee hours of Thursday morning and that will be the last of that, assuming that Thursday morning's test is negative still. I'm ready to move on. I've decided that I will be temping for the next cycle. I don't know: it just gives me something to obsess about. Plus I really want to assure myself that this cycle was just a fluke in not showing a clear thermal shift.
I don't write too much about G but I have to record this important phase in her development: today marked the start of the "no afternoon nap" phase. That's a big deal in this house. For the last week or so she has had trouble falling asleep at night and then has been waking up around 7:30am (way earlier than the old norm of 9!). Her naps were starting later and seeming to go longer. Last night J gently suggested that maybe she didn't need the nap anymore. But she does I tried to argue, even though I knew he was right. I remember when she grew out of her morning nap. I thought: whatever am I going to do for 5 or 6 hours straight while she's awake? We figured it out and adjusted. Now I'm thinking the same thing. I know my life is going to change somewhat. I'll have a lot less "me" time which means less scrapbooking and less computer time. On the other hand, the positive spin is that we'll have a lot more time to do things together without being restricted by that nap time. She was in bed by 8pm tonight and I haven't heard a peep out of her. I've got my fingers crossed that she will sleep till at least 8am or maybe even 9. At least that way I can keep my night owl hours for a while and get my stuff done. I have to say though I'm really tired today. I'm looking forward to quitting this progesterone and getting a good night's sleep soon!
I don't write too much about G but I have to record this important phase in her development: today marked the start of the "no afternoon nap" phase. That's a big deal in this house. For the last week or so she has had trouble falling asleep at night and then has been waking up around 7:30am (way earlier than the old norm of 9!). Her naps were starting later and seeming to go longer. Last night J gently suggested that maybe she didn't need the nap anymore. But she does I tried to argue, even though I knew he was right. I remember when she grew out of her morning nap. I thought: whatever am I going to do for 5 or 6 hours straight while she's awake? We figured it out and adjusted. Now I'm thinking the same thing. I know my life is going to change somewhat. I'll have a lot less "me" time which means less scrapbooking and less computer time. On the other hand, the positive spin is that we'll have a lot more time to do things together without being restricted by that nap time. She was in bed by 8pm tonight and I haven't heard a peep out of her. I've got my fingers crossed that she will sleep till at least 8am or maybe even 9. At least that way I can keep my night owl hours for a while and get my stuff done. I have to say though I'm really tired today. I'm looking forward to quitting this progesterone and getting a good night's sleep soon!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Happy Monday?
Still no news from this side of the world. Both my tests yesterday and today were decidely negative. Well, maybe if you stared long enough you might see something there. After a couple of hours. Didn't I tell myself this cycle was a bust from the start? Yeah, must remember that. Anyway, I have decided to continue the progesterone until CD14 which puts me stopping it on Thursday. Hopefully it won't take too long for AF to show up and then we can get the next cycle's show on the road.
I'm off today for a very important shopping excursion. First I am going to the sale at JoAnn's that I mentioned last week. Because one can never have too many albums, papers, and stickers! Then I will head over to the Dollar Tree to stock up on tests. Because one can never have too many tests! I'm on a strict timeline to get my shopping in child-free between J's flying lessons today. He's gotten back into instructing with a vengence; so much so that I hardly see him these days. My only consolation is that, in this part of the country at least, this job is very seasonal. Plus it gives him a little extra spending money and he loves to buy me surprises with it!
Hope everyone has a great week.
I'm off today for a very important shopping excursion. First I am going to the sale at JoAnn's that I mentioned last week. Because one can never have too many albums, papers, and stickers! Then I will head over to the Dollar Tree to stock up on tests. Because one can never have too many tests! I'm on a strict timeline to get my shopping in child-free between J's flying lessons today. He's gotten back into instructing with a vengence; so much so that I hardly see him these days. My only consolation is that, in this part of the country at least, this job is very seasonal. Plus it gives him a little extra spending money and he loves to buy me surprises with it!
Hope everyone has a great week.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Sale!
I posted this past week about scrapbooking. If it sparked any interest in you at all (and you don't have a resident scrapbooker like Tendersoul to do it for you!), get yourself to your local JoAnn's next week. They have a sale on scrapbooking stuff starting Sunday the 23rd, running through Aug. 4.
Their albums are 50% off meaning you can pick up a nice 12x12 post-bound album for less than 5 bucks. They come with 10 page protectors meaning you can make 20 pages. These albums can accomodate way more than that, so think about picking up an extra pack or two of refills. I've never seen JoAnn's put refills on sale but maybe I've just missed it.
If you want to go beyond the white paper in the albums, check out the paper aisle. They have all their "Open Stock" paper (single sheet) for 20 cents each. You can get patterned paper or single color cardstock. They also have "Stacks" on sale which are a collection of patterned papers. These are nice because they usually all coordinate with one another so you don't have to decide about matching colors. Just make sure you like most or all the papers in the stack; otherwise it might not be such a great deal.
If you would like to add stickers, all their stickers are 40% off.
The papercrafting tools (scissors, paper trimmers, etc) are all 30% off.
These are about the cheapest prices you will find, especially for the albums. If you don't have a local JoAnns, I assume these prices are also good online, although the shipping may cancel out the bargain.
========================================================
In other news, I'm counting down the hours till I start testing in the morning. I am far enough removed now from the whole ovulation-or-not debacle that I seem to have forgotten that I don't really think I ovulated so there's really not much point in testing. It's a pity when your brain betrays you so and allows your heart to get hopeful because if you can't trust your own brain, what else is left?
Their albums are 50% off meaning you can pick up a nice 12x12 post-bound album for less than 5 bucks. They come with 10 page protectors meaning you can make 20 pages. These albums can accomodate way more than that, so think about picking up an extra pack or two of refills. I've never seen JoAnn's put refills on sale but maybe I've just missed it.
If you want to go beyond the white paper in the albums, check out the paper aisle. They have all their "Open Stock" paper (single sheet) for 20 cents each. You can get patterned paper or single color cardstock. They also have "Stacks" on sale which are a collection of patterned papers. These are nice because they usually all coordinate with one another so you don't have to decide about matching colors. Just make sure you like most or all the papers in the stack; otherwise it might not be such a great deal.
If you would like to add stickers, all their stickers are 40% off.
The papercrafting tools (scissors, paper trimmers, etc) are all 30% off.
These are about the cheapest prices you will find, especially for the albums. If you don't have a local JoAnns, I assume these prices are also good online, although the shipping may cancel out the bargain.
========================================================
In other news, I'm counting down the hours till I start testing in the morning. I am far enough removed now from the whole ovulation-or-not debacle that I seem to have forgotten that I don't really think I ovulated so there's really not much point in testing. It's a pity when your brain betrays you so and allows your heart to get hopeful because if you can't trust your own brain, what else is left?
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Lovely Progesterone
Today I am supposedly 8dpo and I've been on the progesterone for 5 days. In fact, I am laying here right now shooting up my latest dose. I had been given all sorts of warnings as to the bad effects of progesterone, but I'll have to say that I haven't had any side effects to speak of. Which makes me wonder if these pink pills are, in fact, doing any good. No headaches, no spotting, no preganancy symptoms, no nothing. Just a daily half hour nap at 2pm which I need since I had to get up at 2am to do that dose. Not complaining though.
So, even though I've said that I don't believe this cycle was really ovulatory, you can be assured that I am already thinking about testing. I mean, who wouldn't want the let-down of a few BFNs? I have 4 dollar tree tests for this cycle. Monday will be 12dpo, when I think I can stop the prog. I suppose I'll start Saturday. I may show tremendous restraint and wait till Sunday. We'll see how it goes.
So, even though I've said that I don't believe this cycle was really ovulatory, you can be assured that I am already thinking about testing. I mean, who wouldn't want the let-down of a few BFNs? I have 4 dollar tree tests for this cycle. Monday will be 12dpo, when I think I can stop the prog. I suppose I'll start Saturday. I may show tremendous restraint and wait till Sunday. We'll see how it goes.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Trip Down Memory Lane and a Challenge
For a while now I've been thinking about doing some scrapbook pages on a theme from my childhood: roller skating every Saturday with my best friend B. Yesterday I sent her an email asking her memories those times. My own memories are there but very general and hazy. Oh my gosh; I was so glad I asked her! She came up with so many little details that came back to me reading her email. It truly was a trip down memory lane.
I wanted to write this post to provide a challenge for all you readers out there. I want to challenge you to start keeping memories. At its most basic level, that's all "scrapbooking" is: just recording memories for yourself and others to enjoy. I can't tell you how much I wish that at the very least I had a few pictures of my friend and I skating. So much of my childhood is lost in the hazy fog of my brain. J comes into my office sometimes and shakes his head because I always have two or three scrapbooking projects laid out here and there. He doesn't really mind my obsession; he just doesn't really "get" it. But it is so important to me to preserve the memories; to at least give G a map to look back on to trigger the memories.
I'd like to challenge you to think about starting to "scrapbook". I hesitate to use that word because if you look at the current industry of scrapbooking, they will have you think you have to be very artistic in order to save your memories. Let me assure you that nothing is further from the truth. The reality is this: all you need is a simple album, some pictures (optional in some cases!) and a pen. Attach your pictures on the page and start recording the dates and memories attached to them. Start right now today; don't try to go back and do the past (of course, later you can do that, but don't let the past pile of pictures keep you from starting from here forward). Sure, you can get way more artistic with it. But don't wait for that day to start saving the memories. That's my challenge to you!
I wanted to write this post to provide a challenge for all you readers out there. I want to challenge you to start keeping memories. At its most basic level, that's all "scrapbooking" is: just recording memories for yourself and others to enjoy. I can't tell you how much I wish that at the very least I had a few pictures of my friend and I skating. So much of my childhood is lost in the hazy fog of my brain. J comes into my office sometimes and shakes his head because I always have two or three scrapbooking projects laid out here and there. He doesn't really mind my obsession; he just doesn't really "get" it. But it is so important to me to preserve the memories; to at least give G a map to look back on to trigger the memories.
I'd like to challenge you to think about starting to "scrapbook". I hesitate to use that word because if you look at the current industry of scrapbooking, they will have you think you have to be very artistic in order to save your memories. Let me assure you that nothing is further from the truth. The reality is this: all you need is a simple album, some pictures (optional in some cases!) and a pen. Attach your pictures on the page and start recording the dates and memories attached to them. Start right now today; don't try to go back and do the past (of course, later you can do that, but don't let the past pile of pictures keep you from starting from here forward). Sure, you can get way more artistic with it. But don't wait for that day to start saving the memories. That's my challenge to you!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
I started
My temp was up last night so I decided to just go ahead and start the progesterone. I figure that lengthening the cycle by a week or two at this point is not going to kill me. And I did, after all, just write a post saying that my few regrets in life are things I didn't do so it suddenly made sense (in the 3am haze) to just start the d*mn progesterone. I have to do it every 12 hours and lay down for 20-30 minutes which means doing it during G's nap in the day and in the wee hours of the night.
Lorem said that her RE says that temping is just a way to drive oneself crazy. Which I wholeheartedly agree with! Still, I persist because now I'm really curious to see if future cycles are as weird as this one. They say that after every pregnancy your system changes and it could be that I'm just experiencing the new norm. At any rate, I'm in the habit of temping but I think in future I will start the progesterone based on my positive OPK.
Today we went to a "Steam Show" which was basically a convergance of hundreds of antique steam engine tractors. It was rather interesting although never in my life did I think I'd be willingly standing in the hot sun watching a tractor pull. G had fun: everytime she saw a tractor (which was quite often of course) she'd point and wave wildly and yell "TRACTOR"! At one point we saw an ambulance and fire truck pull in. Turned out a little boy (I'd say he was about 3) was checking out a tractor and got his finger stuck in a hole and the fire department had to come get it out. I laughed but then I suddenly realized that it could have very easily been my Little Miss. I probably would still be laughing but only after they'd get her finger unstuck!
Lorem said that her RE says that temping is just a way to drive oneself crazy. Which I wholeheartedly agree with! Still, I persist because now I'm really curious to see if future cycles are as weird as this one. They say that after every pregnancy your system changes and it could be that I'm just experiencing the new norm. At any rate, I'm in the habit of temping but I think in future I will start the progesterone based on my positive OPK.
Today we went to a "Steam Show" which was basically a convergance of hundreds of antique steam engine tractors. It was rather interesting although never in my life did I think I'd be willingly standing in the hot sun watching a tractor pull. G had fun: everytime she saw a tractor (which was quite often of course) she'd point and wave wildly and yell "TRACTOR"! At one point we saw an ambulance and fire truck pull in. Turned out a little boy (I'd say he was about 3) was checking out a tractor and got his finger stuck in a hole and the fire department had to come get it out. I laughed but then I suddenly realized that it could have very easily been my Little Miss. I probably would still be laughing but only after they'd get her finger unstuck!
Saturday, July 15, 2006
More Plans
Did I mention that I hate this whole business of trying to conceive? I had a higher temp today and, if I discard my low one yesterday, FF says I ovulated the day before my peak OPK. I wouldn't even worry about it too much except that the fertility doc thinks my problem was progesterone more so than the septum, so I know I should go ahead and start the progesterone just in case. But my gut feeling is that I really didn't ovulate and I really don't want to take the progesterone and prolong a cycle that's already probably going to be pretty long. Damn I hate trying to make these decisions. I've pretty much decided that, unless my temps do spectacular things in the the next few days, I'm just going to ride this cycle out. And I've also decided to call the specialist next week and plead annovulatory cycles and get on Clomid to try and speed things up. I always had long cycles before I went on the pill and I fear my body is going back to that. At least Clomid would hopefully make me ovulate sooner. So, as always, I'm equipped with A Plan to make myself feel like I'm doing something productive while my body decides to do whatever it's going to do.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Epiphany
Every now and then I run across someone who puts into words something that I've been trying to find ideas for. I would like to publicly thank Lut C. over at "Things get IF'fy" for this post. I have gone through periods where I thought if I prayed hard enough or wished hard enough or hoped hard enough, good things would come. But, to quote directly from Lut: "Tying failure to lack of hope implies that it is all in my head and that it's all my fault if it doesn't work." Thank you so much for freeing me from the notion that I somehow have some sort of control over all this and the fate of it is resting on my shoulders. It's not, you see. I've wished and I've hoped and I've prayed and I still don't have a sibbling for my daughter. And IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
I've been thinking a lot lately about the topic of why exactly I'm still in this game. 18 months ago I started out on the road to TTC because I didn't want my daughter to grow up as an only child. I did a lot of thinking last night and I realized that at some point I gave up that hope. Some time this year I started and completed a very gradual shift from thinking that I was going to have another baby someday to accepting the fact that I most probably won't. So why am I still trying? I think it's because the one lesson that I've learned really well in life is that I rarely ever end up regretting the things I choose to do; the vast majority of my regrets lie in the things I don't do. I don't want to end up on my death bed wondering what could have been and regretting not having at least tried.
This line of thinking was really getting me down because it presents a dichotomy: how can you be trying to have a child when you really don't think you'll have one? But now I'm realizing that what I think about the outcome really won't influence it. I mean, as long as I'm doing my part to the best of my ability which means I'll temp and have surgery and take drugs. But even if I don't think any of those things are going to work, that's not going to affect the outcome of them.
Reading Lut's post made me put a lot of things together in my mind and freed me from a lot of unnecessary guilt. Don't get me wrong: if things were to somehow work out, I'd be totally thrilled and forever grateful. But it's not going to be the end of me if they don't work out; I've already accepted that. More and more I want to look to the future and try to make the best life for my daughter I possibly can. If that life does not include a sibbling, it won't be for my lack of trying but it also won't be my fault.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the topic of why exactly I'm still in this game. 18 months ago I started out on the road to TTC because I didn't want my daughter to grow up as an only child. I did a lot of thinking last night and I realized that at some point I gave up that hope. Some time this year I started and completed a very gradual shift from thinking that I was going to have another baby someday to accepting the fact that I most probably won't. So why am I still trying? I think it's because the one lesson that I've learned really well in life is that I rarely ever end up regretting the things I choose to do; the vast majority of my regrets lie in the things I don't do. I don't want to end up on my death bed wondering what could have been and regretting not having at least tried.
This line of thinking was really getting me down because it presents a dichotomy: how can you be trying to have a child when you really don't think you'll have one? But now I'm realizing that what I think about the outcome really won't influence it. I mean, as long as I'm doing my part to the best of my ability which means I'll temp and have surgery and take drugs. But even if I don't think any of those things are going to work, that's not going to affect the outcome of them.
Reading Lut's post made me put a lot of things together in my mind and freed me from a lot of unnecessary guilt. Don't get me wrong: if things were to somehow work out, I'd be totally thrilled and forever grateful. But it's not going to be the end of me if they don't work out; I've already accepted that. More and more I want to look to the future and try to make the best life for my daughter I possibly can. If that life does not include a sibbling, it won't be for my lack of trying but it also won't be my fault.
Hope, Cruel Hope
I don't understand it. My chart so very clearly showed ovulation earlier this week and all I needed was the temperature rise to confirm it. Instead this morning I got a big plunge. It's like my body really, really tried to ovulate but just didn't succeed for some reason. I hate this roller coaster ride. I do so want to get off but I don't want to look back in a year and wonder what might have been. Still, I wonder how I can continue with these emotional highs and lows and not affect everyone around me. I know: don't make any rash decisions so early in the morning, especially when you haven't slept half the night. For now I am debating about whether to call my doc today or wait until Monday. I suppose some unexplicable, uncontrollable part of me is still holding out hope for some ovulation-confirming signs in a day or two.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
CD22
I almost didn't take an OPK today. I mean, I've never ovulated later than CD20 in a normal cycle. But I was afraid I'd feel pee-on-a-stick-withdrawl if I didn't pee on something. So I peed and promptly threw it on the counter as usual because it always takes at least 5 minutes to show up something, even if it's a positive. Imagine my suprise as I happened to look down there and see 2 big pink lines within seconds. Sometimes in the past I've had my doubts whether I'm getting a positive and I wait till the next day to see how that one compares. No such doubts with this test. So.... Now I of course have a new fear: that ovulating so late will produce a poorer quality egg. I know there's studies that corelate late ovulation with increased m/c. And, no, there's no way that I can not dwell on this possibility for the next 2 weeks. Or 38 if I get lucky. At any rate, here's hoping for a temperature rise tomorrow so that I can get off this roller coaster and on to another one.
Stupid Mistakes, Being Two, and Names
About a week ago, my dehumidifier in the basement died. No warning. Just went kapoot. Well, it has been somewhat broken for about a year now and I've actually been meaning to replace it. It worked but you had to tip it over for the water to run out just so. Otherwise it would fill up and it was beginning to rust. Anyway, I went down the other day and it just wasn't working. I flipped all the switches, moved it around, even gave it a (gentle) kick. Nothing. So I went and bought a new one. Last night we lugged the new one down to the basement and set it up. Then I went to unplug the old one........ Duh..... Trouble-shooting step # 1: check the power. Yup, the old one still worked; it just wasn't plugged in. We decided to keep the new one anyway.
-------------------------------------
When you are a young, single person, the question everyone feels entitled to ask is "When will you get married?" When you finally do, the pertinent question is "When will you have a baby?" When you finally do have that baby and the baby turns two, the question that people seem compelled to ask is "Have you potty-trained yet?" I'm still unsure why complete strangers feel that they can ask details about my daughter's bathroom behavior. And I'm really tired of explaining that, even though she is probably perfectly capable of doing her business in the potty, this point in her development is just not the time to introduce something that she can turn into a battle of wills. So my new answer is going to be "We're working on it".
-------------------------------------
I found this site while surfing today. You type in a name and it shows you a graph of how popular that name has been since 1880 based on social security records. It's interesting to look at different names.
-------------------------------------
When you are a young, single person, the question everyone feels entitled to ask is "When will you get married?" When you finally do, the pertinent question is "When will you have a baby?" When you finally do have that baby and the baby turns two, the question that people seem compelled to ask is "Have you potty-trained yet?" I'm still unsure why complete strangers feel that they can ask details about my daughter's bathroom behavior. And I'm really tired of explaining that, even though she is probably perfectly capable of doing her business in the potty, this point in her development is just not the time to introduce something that she can turn into a battle of wills. So my new answer is going to be "We're working on it".
-------------------------------------
I found this site while surfing today. You type in a name and it shows you a graph of how popular that name has been since 1880 based on social security records. It's interesting to look at different names.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Cost of the Septum repair surgery
I think I wrote before about how much my surgery cost. I can't find that post off-hand but I thought I'd better update the amount with the bill I just got in the mail since it almost doubles the cost of the surgery! Turns out I was missing the bill from the actual surgery center. With that one, the amount billed comes out to about $10,500. The negotiated insurance amount is a little over $8000. My out of pocket expense? $875! Turns out they covered 100% of most of the surgery center's bill which was wonderful considering that the bill was over $6500.
The latest in my HSG insurance saga is that someone at the insurance company finally took pity on me. A supervisor left a message yesterday asking me to have the OB fax the pertinent records to her and she will send them to an in-house department. I got the impression that they can look at the records and recommend the correct coding. So I talk to Linda in billing who says that all she will send them is the report that has her code on it. The same code that got me denied in the first place. WTF?! And she sounded like she couldn't be bothered to fax it directly to the insurance company; I can just come pick it up, thank you very much. So then some divine enlightenment comes over me and I have the presence of mind to ask her if I can just get a copy of all the records that the office has for me. That stumped her. I don't think she thought I'd ask for that. But, of course, she can't deny me that. So I'm off to sign a release for them to copy everything and I will just take matters into my own hands from this point.
The latest in my HSG insurance saga is that someone at the insurance company finally took pity on me. A supervisor left a message yesterday asking me to have the OB fax the pertinent records to her and she will send them to an in-house department. I got the impression that they can look at the records and recommend the correct coding. So I talk to Linda in billing who says that all she will send them is the report that has her code on it. The same code that got me denied in the first place. WTF?! And she sounded like she couldn't be bothered to fax it directly to the insurance company; I can just come pick it up, thank you very much. So then some divine enlightenment comes over me and I have the presence of mind to ask her if I can just get a copy of all the records that the office has for me. That stumped her. I don't think she thought I'd ask for that. But, of course, she can't deny me that. So I'm off to sign a release for them to copy everything and I will just take matters into my own hands from this point.
Monday, July 10, 2006
I'm Famous!
I'm famous!. That's me in the brown shirt. I let J take the pictures and pick out which one he liked. I think I look so dorky!
I spent about 3 hours on the phone this morning trying to get this insurance stuff resolved. My OB's office actually returned my phone call! But in the end they said it was coded the only way they know how and there was nothing they could do if my insurance wouldn't cover it. I called the insurance company and spoke to a different rep today. She said it should be covered except that the diagnosis code they used indicated that it was a "fertility treatment" so they couldn't cover it. So, I'm back to the OB's office. Armed with the handy website for ICD9 codes from Lorem, I now have a list of possible other codes they can use. Why should I have to go looking this crap up myself? Anyway, this afternoon I will call my buddy Linda at the doc's office and go at it with her again, but this time armed with so new suggestions. I have decided that if this phone call doesn't elicit any results I'm writing a letter directly to my OB and explaining my situation and seeing if she can help. I hate to do that but by golly I'm going to get something done about this! Stay tuned!
Still no egg in sight. Between the insurance crap and no egg, I am really depressed right now. Of course J's answer is to just wait; "it'll happen when it happens". There is no light at the end of my tunnel right now. Everything is completely black.
Did I mention that my car's AC crapped out today?
I spent about 3 hours on the phone this morning trying to get this insurance stuff resolved. My OB's office actually returned my phone call! But in the end they said it was coded the only way they know how and there was nothing they could do if my insurance wouldn't cover it. I called the insurance company and spoke to a different rep today. She said it should be covered except that the diagnosis code they used indicated that it was a "fertility treatment" so they couldn't cover it. So, I'm back to the OB's office. Armed with the handy website for ICD9 codes from Lorem, I now have a list of possible other codes they can use. Why should I have to go looking this crap up myself? Anyway, this afternoon I will call my buddy Linda at the doc's office and go at it with her again, but this time armed with so new suggestions. I have decided that if this phone call doesn't elicit any results I'm writing a letter directly to my OB and explaining my situation and seeing if she can help. I hate to do that but by golly I'm going to get something done about this! Stay tuned!
Still no egg in sight. Between the insurance crap and no egg, I am really depressed right now. Of course J's answer is to just wait; "it'll happen when it happens". There is no light at the end of my tunnel right now. Everything is completely black.
Did I mention that my car's AC crapped out today?
Sunday, July 09, 2006
CD19: No Egg In Sight
Before I went on the pill I had really long cycles; 40 or 50 days was not uncommon for me. At the time I thought it was great: fewer periods! My longest cycle since I've been charting was 35 days; it was my first one off the pill and I ovulated on CD24. Every afternoon I keep doing a couple of OKPs and I'm not getting anything anywhere near a surge. Usually mine get progressively darker over a 3 or even a 4 day period. Not this cycle. I'm beginning to think it's going to be anovulatory. I've read that it's not uncommon to have a cycle without ovulation every now and then. My temps are also somewhat screwy. Usually after my period ends they go way down. This time they've stayed higher and are as bouncy as they are during my period. So I'm mystified as to what's going on. Truth be told, I'm just about "tried" out this cycle. Of course you know I want be giving up until the fat lady sings though.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Insurance Saga Installment Number 7,135
The saga continues. Yesterday I got second-notice bills for the HSG from the OB and the hospital. That was enough to spur me to get on the phone today. First I called the insurance. The lady I talked to confirmed what someone had told me earlier: the HSG was coded by my OB as a treatment for infertility. The insurance only covers diagnostic testing, hence the "treatment" was denied coverage. I explained to her that it was not treatment, that it was a test. Then I requested that she transfer me to someone who could tell me how the OB is supposed to code it to get it covered. She said no one in their office does coding so no one there can tell me how to code it differently. Bascially, she said, it's up to the doctor to code it correctly and they make decisions based on the coding. So I asked to speak to her supervisor who is, conveniently, out until Monday. That didn't deter me from leaving a long (hopefully polite-sounding) message requesting a call back.
Then I called the OB's office and (SURPRISE) got the voice-mail for the billing department. I just left my name and number and asked for a call back. I won't hold my breath too long on that one.
Then I covered my third base by sending a message for my BIL to call me. He's the one who told me to fight the insurance in the first place. I'm hoping he can tell me who in his office does coding stuff and maybe she can tell me the right code. Since he used to be an OB I'm keeping my fingers crossed that maybe someone there knows. If that doesn't work out, plan B is actually to call the specialist's office and see if someone in their billing department will take pity on me and give me access to these super-secret codes. But I'm holding that plan in reserve if none of the other 3 work out.
Egads, I hate all this insurance stuff. But I am more determined than ever to get it straightened out by someone. At least it fills the time while waiting for the egg to drop.
Then I called the OB's office and (SURPRISE) got the voice-mail for the billing department. I just left my name and number and asked for a call back. I won't hold my breath too long on that one.
Then I covered my third base by sending a message for my BIL to call me. He's the one who told me to fight the insurance in the first place. I'm hoping he can tell me who in his office does coding stuff and maybe she can tell me the right code. Since he used to be an OB I'm keeping my fingers crossed that maybe someone there knows. If that doesn't work out, plan B is actually to call the specialist's office and see if someone in their billing department will take pity on me and give me access to these super-secret codes. But I'm holding that plan in reserve if none of the other 3 work out.
Egads, I hate all this insurance stuff. But I am more determined than ever to get it straightened out by someone. At least it fills the time while waiting for the egg to drop.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
There's No Place Like Home
I'll admit it: I'm a home-body. I appreciate being able to travel and see new places but at the end of the day I like being home amongst my own "things".
So my trip was nice. J and I spent some quality time together. It always amazes me that, even after almost 10 years of marriage, we can get into conversations where I learn something new about him. Talks where I find myself looking at him thinking "who is this man I married?". In that respect, it was a very successful trip. And hopefully successful in other ways as well! I still haven't gotten a peak on my OPKs. In fact, I just started into a new batch of them and am beginning to think they're defective. Always before on this brand I would get a line of a certain darkness when I wasn't surging. On these I'm barely getting any line at all, much less anything near a peak.
I don't write much about my passion for scrapbooking but I do feel compelled to blog about this. One of the company blogs I read is Making Memories. They recently held a drawing to receive a new product they were introducing. Believe it or not, I won this, both the roller and the tote!!!
Can you believe it?! I never win anything!!! At almost $200, this was quite a lavish gift to win. A while back I wrote about a dream I had of paring my life down to the barest essentials. In my dream, I bought something like this scrapbook tote and packed all my supplies into it. Ever since that dream, I've covertly looked around at similar ones. In a way, winning this kinda scares me because I sort of wonder what else about the dream will come true. At any rate, I'm truly amazed to have actually won this and it makes me think that perhaps good things do happen to undeserving people sometimes.
So my trip was nice. J and I spent some quality time together. It always amazes me that, even after almost 10 years of marriage, we can get into conversations where I learn something new about him. Talks where I find myself looking at him thinking "who is this man I married?". In that respect, it was a very successful trip. And hopefully successful in other ways as well! I still haven't gotten a peak on my OPKs. In fact, I just started into a new batch of them and am beginning to think they're defective. Always before on this brand I would get a line of a certain darkness when I wasn't surging. On these I'm barely getting any line at all, much less anything near a peak.
I don't write much about my passion for scrapbooking but I do feel compelled to blog about this. One of the company blogs I read is Making Memories. They recently held a drawing to receive a new product they were introducing. Believe it or not, I won this, both the roller and the tote!!!
Can you believe it?! I never win anything!!! At almost $200, this was quite a lavish gift to win. A while back I wrote about a dream I had of paring my life down to the barest essentials. In my dream, I bought something like this scrapbook tote and packed all my supplies into it. Ever since that dream, I've covertly looked around at similar ones. In a way, winning this kinda scares me because I sort of wonder what else about the dream will come true. At any rate, I'm truly amazed to have actually won this and it makes me think that perhaps good things do happen to undeserving people sometimes.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Moments
I'm having one of those little Defining Moments: I dropped G off a little while ago with my friend JE, went shopping for a while, and now I'm sitting in an airport Starbucks sipping a Green Tea Latte whilst updating my blog. It just feels weird. Like life Before G when I could hop on a plane for an overnight and be late to work the next morning and I routinely took advantage of that. While I will admit to enjoying the afternoon off, I would not give up my current life for the world. Greetings from The Edge.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
CD14
If I were "textbook", I'd be ovulating today. I don't think I've ever been "textbook" at anything! FF says I've entered my fertile period and calucates (from 11 cycles) my average ovulation date as CD17. I'm still awaiting today's OPK result. I think I drank too much this afternoon to get a good reading. Tomorrow I'll be taking off for Ashville, NC to ensure an uninterrupted flow of sperm to the uterus. Because, of course, when you're this close to ovulation, it's hard to think of it as "just sex". I hate, hate, hate being on this roller coaster of trying. But I want, want, want another baby. Hard to reconcile the two. The good news is that the specialist called yesterday (okay, technically his nurse) and said that all my bloodwork came back absolutely perfect. A little while later, my SIL (I had the bloodwork done at her office so they could send it off to my insurance lab) left a message to the same effect. She said, going by my bloodwork at any rate, "you look absolutely perfect". I'll try to remember that the next time I'm having self image problems.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Rocks and Blood
I had an incident with G today that will most definitely not win me the mother of the year award. First off, I let her play with a rock. This one was a pretty big one; probably about 3 inches around but only about 1/2 and inch wide. I saw her pick it up but didn't think too much about it because she mostly likes to push them down the slide. Which she happily did with this one for quite a while. Then I happened to look up (okay, strike #2: I was reading news on my phone) and, in slow motion, saw her throw the rock up in the air and then look up at it. How fast can you go from sitting to dead run? About a millisecond flat if there's a rock involved. But not fast enough to prevent it from hitting her head. By the time I got to her all I could see was blood. Dripping everywhere. All over the place. And, strike # 3 against me: the first thing I thought was how, if I picked her up, I was going to get blood all over my favorite white shirt and light blue skirt. But, pick her up I did. I had blood all over me: shirt, skirt, even my shoes and toes. I whisked her to the bathroom nearby and started in with towel paper. I finally wiped away enough to see that it was a fairly small cut. Then we ran (okay, walked quickly) home in the stroller and called my BIL to come check her out (SIL is the pediatrician but she's out of town). By the time he arrived, I had all the blood cleaned up and could see that the cut was less than a quarter of an inch long. But man did it bleed!
My initial reaction was all business: how to get the blood cleaned up and get her home. But then as I had time to ponder, it scared me more and more. If that rock had hit her just a few inches lower, I have no doubt it would have taken out her eye. That's scarry stuff. I always feel like I am walking a fine line between trying to let her be independent and being an overprotective Mom. Playing with the rock didn't really concern me too much when she first picked it up. I could have prevented the whole incident by taking it away from her. But if I did that with every little thing, I'd turn into the world's most overprotective mom.
Anyway, the whole incident was a bit of stress that I definitely don't need right now. But we muddled through it. Sure glad that's over.
My initial reaction was all business: how to get the blood cleaned up and get her home. But then as I had time to ponder, it scared me more and more. If that rock had hit her just a few inches lower, I have no doubt it would have taken out her eye. That's scarry stuff. I always feel like I am walking a fine line between trying to let her be independent and being an overprotective Mom. Playing with the rock didn't really concern me too much when she first picked it up. I could have prevented the whole incident by taking it away from her. But if I did that with every little thing, I'd turn into the world's most overprotective mom.
Anyway, the whole incident was a bit of stress that I definitely don't need right now. But we muddled through it. Sure glad that's over.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
