Dreamin'

I think Lorem's weird dreams are spilling over into Ohio. I'm not one to usually remember what I dream and I certainly don't carry images of a dream with me into the day. Last night was different. I dreamt that all of a sudden it was just G and I. I don't know what happened to J. But we were sad so something bad must have happened. I decided that I was going to pack up just a few of our things and hit the road. I told my Mom that I couldn't live with them because that would be disaster. In my dream I went through all the stuff in my house and took only what was necessary: clothes, some toys, my computer, my scrapbooking albums and supplies. Funny what necessities you can boil a life down to. Then I held an estate sale and sold everything that was left over. In my dream I bought the car I want: a Jetta. But somehow we managed to pack all our stuff into it. Maybe I pared down more than I thought. Then we drove off into the sunset I guess. When I woke up, my mind was still going over the lists of keep/don't keep. Just now, cleaning up after lunch, I found myself in the kitchen debating whether I should actually keep one of G's baby forks or just take a picture of it.

While mindlessly walking the treadmill at the Y today I had a lot of time to reflect on what this dream really means. Of course, the first thing I analyzed is why my mind would suddenly put J out of the picture. Granted, this is not a huge leap since, as a pilot, he is gone more often than not. But it did make me stop and think that perhaps I should consciouly devote a little more time to making sure our relationship is as secure as it can be.

Then my mind turned to analyzing why I would dream about getting rid of most of my stuff. When we bought this house, I was so excited because we went from 900 sq ft of living space to over 2000. In the almost 2 years we've been here, we've managed to cram most of the empty space full of stuff. All very justifiable stuff of course. Earlier this year I embarked on a goal of cleaning out the basement and I have a sun-porch full of boxes to prove that I actually did get rid of a lot of stuff. But there's still a lot of stuff I've kept. And maybe part of me wants to shed even more stuff. To not feel so tied down. To feel a bit lighter.

I've gone through phases like this before. It will end in one of two ways: A) a massive cleaning session or B) waiting it out till it passes. I've done both. I'm really not sure where this one will end.