12w2d: Expecting

The other day I got a craving for a pasta dish I used to make a lot. It's a very simple concoction of pasta, tomatoes, olives, and spinach. And my favorite part: crushed red pepper flakes. J has never really liked the dish because he says I always overdo the red pepper. So I made it night before last. I put in all the ingredients, including the red pepper. I stirred it up and decided it looked like it needed just a dash more red peppers. Well, my hand must have slipped or something because that's by far the hottest I've ever made it. But it wasn't too hot to eat and I was really craving it, so I ate it. Boy was that a bad idea. I paid for that all night long. Tums didn't even touch my heartburn. Not being one to really learn from my mistakes, I decided the dish would be good for lunch today. I swear I did not put that many red peppers in it. But hello heartburn. I feel condemned to spend the next 6 months eating bland food, which is a heavy sentence indeed to someone who once ate Tex-Mex for every meal straight for a week, mostly for the hot sauce.

So now I'm sitting here with a nauseas stomach and heartburn and my folks are due to arrive in about an hour. And I've volunteered to have supper ready. File that under the "What was I thinking" category. The good news is that they'll be here a little less than a week and we eat most meals out with them here. So no more cooking for me for a while.

Subject change....
I was in the dressing room at the Y this morning and I overheard a young girl ask an obviously pregnant woman "Are you going to have a baby?". That made me stop and think. What would I answer if she had asked me? Something along the lines of... well, I'm pregnant but I don't know for sure that I'm actually going to have a baby. And then, for some reason, I brought to mind the term that my folks tend to use: expecting. All of a sudden I saw that term in a whole different light and realized how apt it is. I'm expecting a baby. So much hope and expectations beneath the surface. I don't know how it will all play out. But right now I'm expecting. Trying to expect good things. Trying to anticipate the best. But not really knowing.

I'm expecting.