10 Weeks

I wish I could say that my nausea just kept getting better and better until it is all gone now. I really wish I could say that. The truth is something closer to this: I have good days and not-so-good days but I haven't had any more really bad days (knock on wood). I still feel nauseous off and on throughout the day, usually when I get hungry. And that seems to be constantly these days. My problem lately has been finding things I want to eat. I seem to crave mostly carbs, which seems to be a common theme amongst people around this time. Last night I got hungry for fried rice. I told my darling hubby this just as he was crawling into bed after a shower. He didn't even grumble all that much as he put his clothes back on to go get me some. He's definitely a keeper.

The fatigue is also still with me. I can't remember with G if that gets better or not. I have to have an afternoon nap every day and even then I'm ready for bed by 9. I'm sleeping a little better at night; not waking up quite as much.

Of course, I'm very nervous about the ultrasound today. This will be my last one till the normal 18-20 week one. I've considered long and hard the last week or so whether to have the nuchal fold ultrasound test done. That's the one that can determine with a fair degree of accuracy your risk for the baby having Down's or some other chromosomal problem. The key word there is "risk". I already have a higher than average risk given my age. On the one hand, I'm not necessarily going to terminate a pregnancy if there's a problem. On the other hand, it might be nice to know there's a problem to be prepared. In the end I decided against it mainly because I already know I have a higher than normal risk and I don't necessarily need to be reminded of that. The test was not even a consideration with G; I'm not sure why I'm fixating on it so much this time around. I seriously doubt whether my midwife even has it as an option. So there. Decision made!

Things have been somewhat stressful around here of late and my reaction to stress is usually depression. More so than normal (for me anyway). J has been wonderful but even he doesn't really understand. So the other thing I'm stressing over right now is whether or not to get some professional help. G has already developed a pattern of dealing with anger that is directly from me and one that I'd rather she hadn't picked up. I'm so afraid that prolonged exposure to my illness will seriously affect her. But I know that what I experience is not bad enough to expose my other child to drugs at this point and drugs won't be an option for a long time as I intend to breastfeed as long as possible. So I'm stuck in a quandary. Quagmire. I always did like that word.

Tomorrow morning I'm getting up bright and early to go get my Christmas shopping done. Yes, I'm always this insanely prepared and yes, I usually start this early. Actually, I'm feeling a little behind this year. My folks are coming to visit in a few weeks and I always like to have all the gifts bought for my family down there so I can just send them with my folks and save shipping costs. Not that it's really a huge issue as I mostly seem to buy gift cards anymore. But I have to at least go looking. I told J I'd definitely be back by naptime because I'll probably be completely and totally exhausted by then!