Seems like no matter how I try to forget it or bury it, the anniversary of my first m/c will always remain with me. Two years ago today I went in for a D&C. I was 10.5 weeks and the baby measured about 9.5 weeks. About this time last year I was having another m/c. I confess these events greatly factored into my anxiety over the cramping I experienced a few weeks ago. March is just not a good month for me and babies.
I hit yet another milestone today: I had to take my wedding band off today. I have never had it off my finger since J put it there over 10 years ago. The last week or so my fingers swell up and that fingers gets itchy. Today it actually started to hurt. It took a while but with the help of some hand lotion I was able to get it off. I know J will never let me live it down but I reckoned it was better than losing my finger!
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Being a mother to two beautiful girls (ages newborn and three), survivor of infertility, dealing with post-partum depression.
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- pregnancy number 4 (122)
- Pregnancy Number 4 (5)
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
2 comments:
I took off my wedding/engagement rings around month five of pregnancy in hopes that I wouldn't have to cut them off months later. Seeing my ankles swell enourmously (though my fingers don't seem that much bigger) makes me glad I did, although I wonder if people think I'm an unmarried mom-to-be. I'm looking forward to putting them back on again--they're beautiful rings and I don't want them sitting in a safe for much longer! Glad to read things are going much better for you this March than in Marches past.
Anniversaries can't be easy. I am sorry that you are thinking about your past losses. They will always be with you, but that will help you to appreciate the little being growing inside you right now.
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